Hello. My name is Ashley, and I want to be a SuperHeroine when I grow up. Very nice to meet you. Any other aspiring Superheroes out there?
Something that I diligently have to remind myself multiple times daily is to cease the obsession over my future happenings. There is a long, at times evil, list of large and small accomplishments that I plant, grow, water, and feed until it eventually fills every space of my being, even on an intracellular level. Then I try to feast on these all at once reaching for a level of satisfaction that somehow I never reach. That's the grand kicker. The satisfaction part never happens in the realm of "To Do" because I don't let it happen. I don't leave that 20% for post-digestion, rest, and reflection on the reality part of it. And the reality part of the situation is that all of the planning, doing, and hopping around like an energizer bunny stems from my humanly desire to control. I do everything in my power to build a state-of-the-art shock absorber against my definition of potential chaos and failure. Striving for perfection, longing to a finish line, and neglecting to enjoy the journey that IS the destination right now take precedence.
I have recently added on a fabulous client to train. She is a stay at home mother with two of her younger kids in our presence in our presence as we train in her living room. I don't mind that they are there with us. In fact, I prefer the crazy crawling, giggling, chocolate-covered faces grabbing at their mother's leg, my client notebook, and attempting to mimmick our exercises and yoga poses with us. It's hysterical. Is it pandemonium? Yes. Is there chocolate all over my client notebook and paint splattered everywhere? Absolutely. But here's the thing...We choose to stop obsessing over the piece of cheese that might be smashed deep into the carpet. Then we laugh, and finish the last few sets of leg lunges. It was fun!
These spurts of chaos have recently forced me to wonder why it's so hard sometimes to apply this type of acceptance in the other parts of my life? Why is it so hard to let go and embrace? Why do I hold on to that remote control? Is it because it makes me feel safe knowing that I know exactly what channel is coming next? Am I more attached to an outcome than the actual experience? YES. Check.
This holding on, this controlling, this resistance of chaos, and the trying to detain it, has become such a guilty pleasure of what our society has bred us to root down into. But when does that belief system stop? And, most importantly, WHEN does it stop? When we find out we have neglected our loving circles around us of family, close friends, our true self? When we have failed to laugh and failed shake off the problems that don't fully serve our identities we fail to allow the best experiences in that are created by beautiful unpredictable chaos. You know, it truly is just chocolate on paper in my client notebook. I can get another one. It's only the future, in the distance. It's not now. It's tomorrow. What about right now? I only have today, and a choice to fully LOVE and embrace all of the chaos that graces it.
Peace and Health,
BODY BLISS
Personal Fitness Training and Yoga
Huntsville, AL
256-468-8083